unemployed and it feels so... awkward.

I quit my retail job in May.
I spent the summer volunteering at Loucon.
Husband and I moved to Chattanooga.
Husband and I went on a cross-country adventure.
I participated in the Writer's Platform-Building Campaign.
My best friend was diagnosed with a grade II astrocytoma* in her left frontal lobe.
Husband and I went to New York.
I won NaNoWriMo.
I was in a play.
Christmas happened.
New Year's happened.
Several friends have come to visit.

Yesterday:
My mom turned 61 {I'm not afraid to share, because she owns it}.
Katie's surgery didn't go exactly as planned, but she's okay.
She starts chemo and radiation in about a month.

And last night at small group, a friend asked how my job search was going.

What job search?

Ah, crap, I haven't worked in eight months. What a loser.

Well, okay. I've worked, but I haven't had a job. I haven't been paid for anything. And if this is what full-time writing looks like? It's a wonder anyone gets anything done {I am not a very productive being}.

I wouldn't mind getting a job. I really wouldn't {it might happen soon, actually}. But I'm not exactly chomping at the bit for one. It's a blessing, for sure, that I don't need to have a job right now. A luxury that makes me blush to admit. My husband works his tail off doing something he half-loves so that I can do what I full-love. If only I didn't fail at it, or dance around it, or gape at it, drooling and terrified.

It's true that I've accomplished far less, writing-wise, than I'd hoped to by now {and, no, I'm not counting NaNo}. Life, of course, has been crazy. But I'm not blaming life. I'm actually... thanking life? Or, to be more accurate, thanking the Lord for giving me this life. As jumbly and hectic and painful as it's been, there have also been great moments. Especially during the play. Things I wouldn't trade for the world, let alone a paycheck.

And so today?
I will clean the kitchen.
I will disconnect myself from the internet.
I will write.
I will inquire about a nannying job.
I *might* even go on a walk in the woods behind our house {oh yes, this one first, please}.

And I will practice telling people that I do have a job. One I love so much, I don't need to be compensated to justify it.

It's called being a stay-at-home writer wife. And if I can really do that with intent {hey-oh, there's my word}, won't it be so much better than throwing in the towel and jumping back into retail?

OH MY GOOD GOLLY, YES.

*I didn't link to any information about this because Katie has asked/trained me not look up stuff about her condition on the internet {or at least, not to tell her about it}. She wants her info to come from doctors, and I wholly respect that. Feel free to google it if you want, but you never know what you might find.

real quick, prizes!

... and by "tomorrow," of course, I meant "in the middle of the night on Friday." I know it's easy to confuse the two.

Hokay! Here we go.

Note: NOW RUNNING THROUGH OCTOBER 28th!
MORE INFO ON THE EXTENSION HERE.

In no particular order, the prizes for this fun and delightful contest/blogfest, in which you should all participate are:

1. A copy of Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor {you KNOW you want it.}

2. A $10 grab bag of wonderment from The Book Gallery in Chattanooga. This place is AMAZING. I spent 90 minutes there a week or so ago, and would not have left if my phone hadn't beeped to remind me of the time. They don't have everything, but what they do have is super cheap, especially this month {crazy, 30-day book sale, what?} The winner of this prize will have to email me ASAP with some info on his or her favorite types of books, so I'll know what to look for as I fill up that bag. It is going to be nuts.

3. A first chapter critique. By me! Because I'm interested to see what you guys are writing, and I want to give back! {and I need the practice.}

Alrighty. How about another clarification? The random drawing, and how the first-second-third placings will go:

First place! Will go to my favorite entry. This winner will have first pick of the three prizes.

Second and third place! Will go to the first two names I draw from the hat, so to speak. Second place gets second pick, and third place, well, third place gets whatever awesome prize the other two crazy winners didn't choose, for whatever reason.

The entries!
Post about your early work = one entry.
Spread the news on Twitter = one entry.
Spread the news on Facebook = one entry {make sure you tell me if you're spreading the news!}
Include a picture of a dinosaur or wolf = one entry.
So that's four entries possible. What's not to love? {Oh, and uh, I'm keeping it fair. No one gets to win all the prizes. Haha.}

And there you have it, friends! PLEASE do that whole "spreading the news" thing, especially since I forgot to submit this to the Campaigner Notice Board for this week. Oops.

Happy reminiscing!