Tuesday, September 27, 2011

grandfather imago.

“Jessa,” my little brother says, “you oscitate like a cat.”

“Bradley,” I bite back, “you use words like
oscitate.”

I am, admittedly, getting pretty tired of my homework. And the vocabulary kick.

He grins and pushes up the living room window. “I shall affix a lacuna,” he announces. I roll my eyes. Bradley, as of last week, is a kid’s game show champion, and can longer bring himself to talk like the rest of us.

“What is he doing out there?” The unexpected, normal words pull me out of my impending math nap. I put down my book and join Bradley at the window. Past our own mirrored faces, we see our estranged grandfather, squirting lighter fluid on the neighbor’s house.


Bradly leaves me and bolts out the door. I run after him.
“Gramps!” he cries. The old man looks up at us and drops the plastic bottle.

“Bradley...” he looks confused. “Did you win?”

Bradley glances at me, and then nods. “Yeah, I won.”

A miasma, a noxious wall of realizations, hits me as I watch Gramps. The hero.

“You want to know perfect synchronicity, boy?” the old man slurs. He’s drunk.

But deft, as he lights the match.

_______________________________________



And there you have it, my friends. Something I wrote!

 As many of you have likely guessed, this was for the 2nd Campaigner Challenge. I had to use imago in the title, and include miasma, lacuna, oscitate, and synchronicity. For an extra challenge, I could (and did) incorporate a mirror, and make it 200 words exactly. Whew.

This was hard! Now I want to finish the story, expand it into something that breathes a little better. We'll see.

The winners of this challenge will be based on popularity (eek), so, if you likey, please go votey!
I am number... 141, it looks like. 

My fingers are crossed!

24 comments:

  1. Nice take on the challange. This was a tough one. Watch out for the imago ;)

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  2. Oh, this is not going to end well! I'd love to see more of this :-)

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  3. It's even better the second time! :D

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  4. I loved this line:“Bradley,” I bite back, “you use words like oscitate.”
    And then the sudden change of direction - wow! This was a really great story, and I'd love to know more!
    Mine is #3.

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  5. Great voice. You accomplished loads in this tiny space. Well done!

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  6. It started so innocently and then turned into something darker. Nicely done :)

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  7. I agree with the others--it started so innocently and turned so dark! Great job, I'd love to read more!

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  8. These are some great characters! Perhaps you've just set yourself up for your next story? I enjoyed this a lot. Great job!

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  9. Nice. You've written a fun story that ends on a mysterious (perhaps tragic) note that leaves me wanting more.

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  10. I do likey! Very much. Fantastic job!

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  11. Great dialogue! I really enjoyed this!

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  12. Sounds like grandpa is getting his pyro on. Hopefully the neighbors won't mind. I wonder if they got marshmallows. I like this! Definitely a fun spin on the challenge.

    Great job, Julie! :)

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  13. "Impending math nap" was awesome. As was the rest. Very concise and well-developed. And first person present :) Awesome!

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  14. Awesome job! So different from the ones I've read so far:)

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  15. I have a bad feeling about the situation . . . great entry!

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  16. Dearest Julie,
    The first time I read your story, I didn't even bother looking up those fancy words...I didn't have to. Your storytelling skills do the work. THAT'S MY SISTER!

    and i eventually did look up the words, thanks for the vocab.

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  17. I like this one. Especially the last line. I'd love to know the Grandfather's motivation. Great use of the challenge words.

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  18. I really like the last part. Such a good visualization. Good job!

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  19. What's with Gramps? Great job with the challenge!

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  20. You had me on the edge of my seat at the end , as gramps lit that match ... phew !!
    My entry at no.#185

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  21. I likey, in fact, lovey...as I do you! :)

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  22. Ah, the math nap. That's like my daily routine :)
    Great job, and super creative! And, btw, I like your new background! pretty spiffy ;)

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  23. Math nap...tee hee. I remember those! You did a great job on this challenge. Your characters seemed very real. Great job!

    #189

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