Friday, February 24, 2012

campaign challenge time: maximum splatter.



Rules found here.

MAXIMUM SPLATTER

Shadows crept across the wall. One belonged to Jack, and one was mine. Our toes were blue in our shoes.

Jack’s shadow lengthened onto the bright sidewalk. Mine lagged in the alley. I lifted the heavy basket higher onto my hip and watched him, boots crunching as he stalked across the road. The snow compounded the sunshine into white blindness, even as it melted.

Earlier, we’d carved deep X's on pilfered, decomposing citruses, hoping for maximum splatter. We’d tested one out on the icy bricks of my mother's shed: gorgeous.

“Liza!” he called.

I skittered across the ice, jealous of his better shoes.

Jack grabbed the squishiest orange he could find and pelted it onto a slab of white that had once been a shop front. Color and rot burst open. We laughed and Jack reached in for another. 

A chipped porcelain cherub caught my eye in the window, flanked by photos and birds.

“Jack, look.”

He pressed his face up to the glass. “What about it?”

“It’s pretty.”

He scoffed. “You turning into a girl now?”

“Why shouldn’t I?” My cheeks burned. 


On a scale of rotten fruit to pretty things, I’d rather be faded than sticky. 

Everything, faded.

And there you go! 200 words exactly {according to Scrivener}, with the proper opening and closing lines {plus one comma}, and the word "orange." I'm pretty late in the game, so I'd greatly appreciate your votes! 


Here it is again, in disconnected photos:







Naming credit, I should add, goes to Jeigh Meredith. These guys were Boy and Girl for two days, and nothing would come together. CPs are the best!

Don't forget to pop around to the other entries to vote and leave comments and spread the love!

26 comments:

  1. Haha love it!! Really cute! Great job :)

    I'm entry #19

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  2. 1. Thanks for the pictures! That was kind of cool to have access to.

    2. I really enjoyed reading that. The descriptions were great, and I loved how it ended. The back and forth was also nice. Probably my favorite part.

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  3. Very vivid imagery. I liked the blue toes in the shoes and I could see your characters throwing that fruit.

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  4. From someone named Liza...good job! Fun twist on the prompts! (#112)

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  5. Now I'm tempted to cut into some overripe grapefruit to see what would happen when I toss 'em. Thanks for sharing!

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  6. Yay! You were later than me entering :)

    Lovely. Just like you :)

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  7. Maximum splatter, indeed! Great job with the challenge. This is a fun entry. I really enjoyed it. :D

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  8. Stopping by to wish you both a blessed weekend, Julie.

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  9. My guy was called Jack too, but he wasn't as cute as yours :-)

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  10. "The snow compounded the sunshine into white blindness" <-- like that :-)

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  11. You have an incredible voice - excellent visuals and pacing, kept my attention the entire time - very well written. Great job!

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  12. Agree with Ann on your voice, quite lovely. The opening paragraph was especially soothing to my grated inner writer.

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  13. Oh I love love love this Julie!

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  14. Yep. This is great. No need to cry, Liza! :)

    And you totally could've taken credit for the names. They came right off the top of my head.

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  15. This is great! Really different. Your main character made a big shift in growth in a short number of words, but it felt completely natural. I like the photos you included, too. I'm number #198.

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  16. Beautiful prose. I was there, seeing the place and characters.

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  17. Hello Julie! I am commenting to let you know that you have been shortlisted to go on to round two! Congratulations! Great story. :)

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  18. I love your use of the prompts. Well done. :-)

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  19. Great characterization, especially in so short a piece! Lovely!

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  20. Finally made it to your story. :)
    I loved the camaraderie between your characters. :)

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  21. I love the "snow compounded the sunshine to white blindness". So true, I feel like I have to wear sunglasses on a winter day.

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  22. Nice entry. Great imagery. I liked it a lot. = )

    I'm #149
    melissamaygrove.blogspot.com

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  23. This was fabulous. One of my favourites. Great characters and voice in such a short amount of space.

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  24. As a fellow bottom-dweller/procrastinator, I feel your end-of-the-list pain. :-) I love the visual in this of the orange splattered against the white of the snow - it's as vivid as your characters.

    I've been slow in making my rounds, but I'm saying howdy from the YA campaign group.

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